It's a worrying time for your two intrepid tea-breakers. Mike's battling his Eurovision withdrawal symptoms by composing aleatorically with a dandelion, while precariously balancing a small bowl of kibbles. John's doing battle with a Sarlaac drum machine, underscoring the Queen's life with Korn, and whacking the 'make it bigger' button. Still, they're both knuckling down once more to investigate all the month's most pressing project-studio matters. For instance, it appears Ed Milliband may have been computer generated by training neural networks with Dutch folk music, Reddit threads, and Tasmanian Devil sounds. There's news too of Simon Cowell's shock-collar, manufactured by Jacob Marley Music Services to inspire late-flowering artistic integrity. Plus we extol the dramatic tension, cognitive dissonance, and passive-aggressive guitar solos of Andy Shauf, as well as unearthing the deep connections between podcasting split-personality disorder and the SOS hand-shot face. Yeah, verily, the Internet giveth, and the Internet taketh away...

(Oh, and if you'd like to follow our on-going TikTok challenge, Jon's @pstbtiks and Mike's @pstbtoks. Go teams!)

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