Your offensively second-talented hosts have been rejoicing in an Energy Quotient rating of 4.97 this month, while clearing the very lowest bar of brass-necked press relations with a dizzyingly sanitised Tower Of Power and some mysterious guitar noodlimen. Returning from his busman's holiday aboard the Bisto awards gravy-train, Mike's been a fresh whirlwind of self-destructive thought-crimes, performing his artisanal lead-time lament to the accompaniment of sweaty, loincloth-clad Taiko drummers and the world's slowest kick line. Jon's also been breaking the ice with fully sustainable Foley alternatives, while delivering one-finger churn via pre-boxed ghost-note pot pourri and audio umami. Plus, they've both been competing with The Alien Guitar Womb Hive Mind to smoosh the world's biggest bubble, slam-dunk multiple tubas, and translate 'croissant' into English. As voids go, it's 100% presentation and 0% noise, give or take an extended nautical metaphor.

(If you like the audio snippets in this month's episode, check out Dorothea Wessel's latest tracks at

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