Bellingstropp-Smythe & Sons proudly present this month's Oolong Hour, replete with snug-verbing, potty-mouthed sponsors, sensual mastication, and goodly chunks of papier-mâché. John (aka The Salieri Of Puppets) betrays his 18- and 25-year-old selves by using the creepily long arms of the fishy fishy fish man to dragoon fresh talent. Mike reveals the linguistic thread connecting Niall Horan, Susan Boyle, and The Four-letter Count, while marvelling at the electrotom excesses of The RAH Band. Neither of your hosts is even slightly whelmed by an Airfix synth that's customisable, except in any way you'd actually want to customise it. Nevertheless, they rally together to help an electronic musician survive The Old Lady Tribunal using virtuoso electricity and the Bavarian Ophicleide Festival. But is it something you can whistle?

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