In this special festive edition, we settle down with a sackful of Maltesers, a bottle of Bublé's Irish Cream, and an emergency spatula to survey the best and worst of Christmas singlage. In-house feline support specialist Mike reveals that all Mariah Carey wants for Christmas is Jah, and also waxes non-lyrical about Selena Gomez's finest hour. Meanwhile, rhythm-murderer Jon discusses synth tax rebates, as well as raising the sons of earth with a rousing 'Hark the HAIR!' In other news, Jon's prophetic spirit animal flashes its boxers (although sadly without polka dots), and Softube deftly apply The Sucker Punch Of Derision in defence of their new fader bank's failure to go up to 11. Support the Sleighbell Tax!

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