It's awards season this month at the NAMM show, where we're doling out those coveted PSTB gongs for Silly Name, 3D Poster, Dusty Controls, and (of course) Straight To Landfill! Veteran spam-wrangler Jon has been navigating impending Abmeldung from his throne of radical leftist literature, as well as waxing lyrical about nasty nonsense and twiddling his hand-forged toasting fork. Self-styled ball of smug Mike has been watching Thunderfinger Royale and Groundhog's Eve while suffering a Friday-sus-Wednesday and channelling the spirit of Tom Waits (as best a viola-playing tenor can). Hot topics this month include how to become a non-teen teen-pop sensation, what's so tragic about the trailer for Trolls World Tour, why it takes an idiot to know one, and where to bury the banjiola abomination. All accompanied by the dulcet tones of sneezing gnomes and flatulent drainpipes.

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