Episodes
Saturday Nov 02, 2019
PSTB #19: Snug-verbing, virtuoso electricity, and The Four-letter Count
Saturday Nov 02, 2019
Saturday Nov 02, 2019
Bellingstropp-Smythe & Sons proudly present this month's Oolong Hour, replete with snug-verbing, potty-mouthed sponsors, sensual mastication, and goodly chunks of papier-mâché. John (aka The Salieri Of Puppets) betrays his 18- and 25-year-old selves by using the creepily long arms of the fishy fishy fish man to dragoon fresh talent. Mike reveals the linguistic thread connecting Niall Horan, Susan Boyle, and The Four-letter Count, while marvelling at the electrotom excesses of The RAH Band. Neither of your hosts is even slightly whelmed by an Airfix synth that's customisable, except in any way you'd actually want to customise it. Nevertheless, they rally together to help an electronic musician survive The Old Lady Tribunal using virtuoso electricity and the Bavarian Ophicleide Festival. But is it something you can whistle?
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For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com
Tuesday Oct 01, 2019
PSTB #18: Madonna fixations, Scaramanga's axe, and unrappabilityto
Tuesday Oct 01, 2019
Tuesday Oct 01, 2019
The Master Breakers return refreshed and alert from their summer travels with fresh crisp-packet metaphors and an unhealthy Madonna fixation. Jon's been gate-crashing perfume adverts at The Royal Opera House with his close personal friend Salvador Dali, as well as pioneering the concept of whistlestop touring without the whistles or stops. Mike's been blurring the line between computers and footballs, but still has the pleasure of introducing the Cathedral Of Binaural Toast Foley, Scaramanga's axe, Working Class Audio, and two goblins. And if that's not enough to rescue you from the Milton Keynes of Despond (or a debilitating attack of Trap, Dogcart, and Brougham), try our masterclasses in faint praise and unrappabilityto!
Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak
For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com
Sunday Sep 01, 2019
PSTB #17: Audio bacon, Spot The Toast, and chatting with Miss T
Sunday Sep 01, 2019
Sunday Sep 01, 2019
It's a holiday facepalm special this month, with Mike destroying his means of production and co-hosting with a sock puppet. Meanwhile, Jon has tracked down the elusive Miss T for an in-depth discussion of gravy. There's a challenge for all you Foley connoisseurs too: our first ever 'Spot The Toast' quiz! And, of course, everything sounds better with audio bacon...
Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak
For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com
Friday Aug 02, 2019
PSTB #16: Reverse hallelujahs, stereo hoovering, and a bag of smashed crabs
Friday Aug 02, 2019
Friday Aug 02, 2019
This month it's a Superbooth special, with intense dubstep typing, motivational sawtooth waves, and a bag of smashed crabs that's blown the lid off Indiegogo. In other news, the Dark Prince Of Crochet (aka Jon) has been shouting into a recycle bin, building up his resistance to haggis, and operating machinery in a baggy PVC suit. Mike reminisces about recording cheese straws, stereo hoovering, and asynchronous bunny-hops. Meanwhile, at the Cross-cultural Variety Show we have acoustic pub-funk, flying raffle tickets, and a sternly worded sit-in. Plus, there's shiny piano and reverse hallelujahs from Kirk Franklin, and our first ever guest entrant to the Toast Foley Hall Of Fame. And let's not forget these hard-won pearls of wisdom: "As long as there's Cajon, it's acoustic" and "Delude in the nude!"
Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak
To listen to all previous episodes, check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com
Monday Jul 01, 2019
PSTB #15: Hobbit feet, old submarine bits, and tonsorial option-paralysis
Monday Jul 01, 2019
Monday Jul 01, 2019
It's no holds barred this month as Leo Tolstoy and Jean-Jacques Nattiez square up in a musical version of Celebrity Deathmatch. Meanwhile, your intrepid Master Breakers consider displaying their Hobbit feet in glorious HD and commiserate over shared tonsorial option-paralysis. Mike's career as a kazoo virtuoso goes from strength to strength, which is fortunate given how he's been facepalming himself out of work over the phone. On the hunt for sexy plays, Jon's in the Batcave with lots of eyeliner and bits of old submarines, working out how to get those bits of carrot from between his teeth. And don't miss our first truly organic product endorsement, as well as incontrovertible proof of your hosts' idiocy. All hail the King of Fuh!
Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak
Saturday Jun 01, 2019
PSTB #14: Heavy-metal kittens, karmic pest control, and musical guacamole
Saturday Jun 01, 2019
Saturday Jun 01, 2019
Armed with their best picardy thirds, the guys start up their viral factory once again with heavy-metal kitten videos and Chewbacca singing Nessun Dorma. There's exciting news too of dubstep's karmic pest-control properties, 19th-century composers' beards, and Mike's first world-record attempt. Jon brings us a box-fresh facepalm with guaranteed 100 percent shame, while Mike (aka Mäik) hoovers the inside of his piano in the aftermath of our first ever sponsored toast Foley. More crucial production questions are also laid to rest: What's your favourite note? What's the musical equivalent of mildew, sherbet, guacamole, or beef jerky? And how can I turn funk into music in one easy step? Yes, all that, and it'll still probably get fewer Guardian column inches than ten tracks of silence...
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Wednesday May 01, 2019
PSTB #13: Oxtail filtering, harmonikazoos, and the 'f*** you' delay
Wednesday May 01, 2019
Wednesday May 01, 2019
Heading into festival season, your intrepid crowdsurfers park their inflatable car so that Jon can wreak quiz-based revenge and explain the origin of the 'f*** you' delay. Speaking of Bangface, Mike treats his co-host to a Grommit-grade tale of thoroughly British Palmfacing, and extols the virtues of oxtail filtering. Meanwhile, Jon sacrifices his browser history to the gods of multi-instrumentalism in order to salvage the European Project, while singing through his harmonikazoo. Plus, Billie Eilish embodies the true Zen of Toast, restoring Mike's faith in great art and personal smugness. Oh, and if you see Britney, tell her we're looking for Amy...
Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak
Monday Apr 01, 2019
PSTB #12: Count Duckula, gourmet risotto, and bunraku puppet twerking
Monday Apr 01, 2019
Monday Apr 01, 2019
Defying ancient Mayan prophecies of the apocalypse, your intrepid Master Breakers explain how to raise 40 grand in three quarters of an hour, while making 40 percent of a joke about The Danish String Quartet. Google's prog-rock Bach emulator is tested to destruction, with plenty of gory details about Count Duckula's death by cookies, Mike's Frankenmix monster, and Jon's anti-Vatican orgy. Plus, we reveal how gourmet risotto and Angry Birds can help banish bouts of freelance lethargy, and Jon delivers a brief masterclass on bunraku puppet twerking. All to the accompaniment of a nightmarish wobble-board/plate-reverb hybrid (with snares on) and a 1000-person samba band half a mile away.
Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak
Friday Mar 01, 2019
Friday Mar 01, 2019
For this month's episode your intrepid Project Studio procrastinators cut like a knife through their favourite lyrical cliches, plan a Syllabist poetry slam, and resist the urge to shout 'Hey' while drinking moonshine under a harvest moon. Errol the Chipmunk is sorely provoked by discussions of nonconsensual Bowie abuse, swirling styrofoam snowstorms, and John Cage's evil twin. (Don't worry -- it's all in the name of sound art.) There's magic too, as Mike explains how to transform a stampeding herd of wildebeest into a touch-typing convention, and how to squeeze all his guitar knowledge onto the back of plectrum with the help of The 100k Per Foot Rule. Meanwhile, Jon boards his sponsored speedboat to reveal the single worst score he's ever received, and explains how to deal with the Good Will Hunting of dulcimerists. Suffice to say that not all his tea goes down the right way...
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Friday Feb 01, 2019
Friday Feb 01, 2019
This month, Mike succumbs to Brexit-fever and receives entirely unnecessary divine assistance in looking foolish. Meanwhile, Jon skips through fields of daisies with his new robot roadie, stuffs his shoes with his own flamboyant boxer shorts, and explains how to score top marks in Ambient Wishy-Washy. Despite exciting new developments in the Einaudi Grudge Match, our two hosts nonetheless manage to set aside their differences for long enough to discuss their favourite song key-changes, Chuck Berry's pigmy elephants, and how three men and a Clavinova have paid homage to the 5th Marquis of Anglesey and his crystal sword. (Tonight.)
Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast on Patreon!
Tuesday Jan 01, 2019
PSTB #9: Imaginary edits, Bearable Brass, and the original Wobbly Jefferson
Tuesday Jan 01, 2019
Tuesday Jan 01, 2019
It's time, once again, to join your two favourite master-breakers, as they laugh off the evil eye of TC Electronic, strut their stuff to the Monkey Banana Dance, and revel in sensitive performances of double-bass, trumpet, and hand-gun. Mike reveals his three acid tests for equipment reviewers, before presenting fresh harvest from the Facepalm vine. John gives his friends a brutal Whittening with help from delta blues legend Wobbly Jefferson and "Have you heard the original?". And we contemplate the length of forever with Yngwie Malmsteen's irony-free opus 'Fire & Ice'. Oh, and don't miss our most convoluted pun yet!
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Saturday Dec 01, 2018
PSTB #8: Spray-on acoustic stubble, vegan suspense, and Neil Finn naked
Saturday Dec 01, 2018
Saturday Dec 01, 2018
It's a veritable sugar high this month, with Jon lathering himself in maple syrup to talk about the inventor of the jello shot and how he himself miraculously dodged a speeding facepalm bullet. Meanwhile, Mike explains how Mackie have been protecting the earth from alien symbiotes by knobbing Tom Hardy into submission, and relives his finest hour as part of Sound On Sound's market-leading Double Entendre Department. We bestow our opinions of anechoic chambers on the Patron saint of Q&A, and nominate Neil Finn's nude sessions as a candidate to replace the Wilhelm Scream. Plus, have you even wondered how a cyberpunk reworking of Nevermind's album artwork relates to Vegan Suspense, Electric Weasels, and a Gothic Sandwich? All will be revealed, along with exciting news of celebrity-endorsed spray-on acoustic stubble. (Disclaimer: Despite the cheerful songs about poisoning pidgeons, no animals were harmed during the recording of this podcast.)
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Thursday Nov 01, 2018
PSTB #7: Auditory dog hair, erotic mic cables, and The A-Team Musical
Thursday Nov 01, 2018
Thursday Nov 01, 2018
It's time to join The Numerical Suffix Twins and The Ultimate Frisbee Conspiracy for another bout of testing concepts (and SM58s) to destruction! Nibbling their hand-monogrammed biscuits, your intrepid hosts take on the 'jukebox musical' phenomenon, delivering their verdict on which 1980s TV shows would best suit the format, whether Kurt Cobain ever sang the part of Jean Valjean, and why there's clearly such a scarcity of grumpy-looking white men who can't sing. The facepalm action is bang up to the minute too, as Mike mugs himself with multiple mix revisions and erotic mic cables, while Jon bemoans auditory dog hair and the onerous dance rituals required by the God Of Acoustic Guitars. Plus we have Gearslutz repaying its debt to humanity, Mike swearing appreciatively at Yo-Yo Ma, parents playfully tasing their own children, and our mole at NPR Tiny Desk making banana smoothies.
Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast!
Monday Oct 01, 2018
Monday Oct 01, 2018
It's a star-studded caffeine pitstop this month, as our intrepid project-studio podcasters count the syllables of pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis with Eminem, The Carpenters, and Dominique the singing nun. Jon takes a break from hay-bale racing The Village People to give an applause-poaching masterclass and stop a stampede with his phantom-powered Taser. Mike (aka 'Baby Hagrid') calls time on the heavy-metal volleyball to hunt invisible gorillas and bemoan the quality of machine teaching. And both of them marvel at the blooming of Smashmouth's strange All Star (but...) rose. So settle down with your cuppas and enjoy The Second Worst Idea Of All Time, where we answer the pressing questions of the day. What exactly is an insane amount of clarity? Why am I keeping my old cassettes? And are policemen really getting younger?
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Saturday Sep 08, 2018
PSTB #5: Masking-tape snobbery, fake artists, and Creme Egg evolution.
Saturday Sep 08, 2018
Saturday Sep 08, 2018
It's a culinary adventure this month, as Mike and Jon sit down at their mahogany podcasting table, pour themselves a creamy lactose-adjacent fresh drink and ponder Marmite theatre, the evolution of the Creme Egg, and knuckle sandwiches for unethical psychologists. Further excitement, too, as PSTB's first Patron skews our Einaudi grudge match and Errol The Editing Chipmunk makes his debut utterance. Mike shares tales of masking-tape snobbery, dreamy school reports, and public facepalming, as well as answering the important question: why the 80s? Jon investigates how Spotify's fake artists are watering down recording excutives' beer, and asks whether great production can ever salvage awful music. And, crucially, Shakira shares her incomparable wit and wisdom with us all...
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Tuesday Aug 07, 2018
Tuesday Aug 07, 2018
This month, there have been tough questions about the latest NAMM show product releases: Can Yamaha restart the 'marketing valve' gravy train? Should TC Electronic be shipping their new plug-in with a free pencil-sharpener? And who will walk away with PSTB's coveted Straight To Landfill Award? For Facepalm Of The Month, Jon takes a break from mixing the heartbeat of the universe to explain how some gigs are too classy for their own good, and what it feels like to be smirked at by a slice of cucumber. Meanwhile, as we push the quality bar for Toast Foley to new lows, Mike asks what instrument is actually the most difficult to record. Plus, join our bid for Summer Anthem 2018, a viral video sensation boasting ninja puppies, Monteverdi duetting, and beards with everything. (Any excuse to shoehorn Prince and Jimmy Somerville into the same sentence. There, did it again!)
Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast!
Saturday Jul 07, 2018
PSTB #3: The inverse McGherkin, T-Pain's Uncle Vanya, and the facepalm motherlode.
Saturday Jul 07, 2018
Saturday Jul 07, 2018
Thursday Jun 07, 2018
PSTB #2: Mics for melee, homeopathic guitar solos, and The Ladderflirter.
Thursday Jun 07, 2018
Thursday Jun 07, 2018
Your intrepid Chippendale hunk-biscuits refuse to rest on their laurels for the second episode of Project Studio Tea Break. No sir! Mike's got his cape and stage fan at the ready, and is preparing to knob synthesizer designers through the post. Jon's inflated his mullet, donned the Rhinestone jacket, and generated a facepalm feedback loop by winning the Wooden Spoon with wooden spoons. And, crucially, the Toast Foley has been upgraded! Pressing questions this month include: What's the best mic for hand-to-hand combat? What's the real reason for X-Factor's existence? Do you pine for the warmth of AES jitter and 40-bit floating-point maths? Plus, we ponder Akai S950 Kontakt controllers, keyboard tetherball, Techno Trucks Against Fascism, homeopathic guitar solos, and the risks of touring with a voice-box. And don't forget to take part in our daft synth-module names quiz! Can you tell the real ones from the fakes? Or are they even better than the real thing?
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Monday May 07, 2018
Monday May 07, 2018
The inaugural episode of Project Studio Tea Break sees Mike Senior and Jon Whitten settle down with their cuppas to ponder the big issues of project-studio existence. The SM57's tuning dial, for instance. Or toast Foley. The Tell-tale Tummy. Whether it matters what side a dulcimer-player dresses. Plus, do you know what a Meccano X-Wing, the wine-tasting clap, nipple clamps, and Minecraft's mullet-mod have in common? Or that The Phantom Facepalm hails from Godalming? For in-depth coverage of these crucial issues and more, join Mike & Jon on their first pioneeringly open-source podcast adventure. (May contain traces of laser-printed fruit.)
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